To Catch a Thief
by The Literary Dragon
Summary: COMPLETE !TB Universe! The cleverest thieves start young, but sometimes the greatest crime is an accident. Some things are just too sparkly to resist.
1. Chapter 1

_Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead, incapacitated, or inconsiderate. I've just been busy. With too many writing projects at once, I tend to get a little bit blocked on all of them. But this story just begged to be written. There is only one more chapter, so it's going to be short. Enjoy!_

_**!Shameless self-advertisement!**_

_My children's novel, **DragonSpeaker**, has reached the final stages of publication. It is now in the cover design phase. This my first book, so it's rather exciting. You can visit my website if you would like more information. There's a link on my profile page. I don't have a release date yet, but that should be coming soon._

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

TO CATCH A THIEF

* * *

"Kohana? Where are you, baby?"

Kagome paused in the search for her missing daughter to stretch and massage the ache in the small of her back. At eight months pregnant, it felt like she was carrying a bowling ball around all the time.

A childish giggle floated down the hall from the direction of her bedroom. Ah, so that's where the little terror disappeared to this time.

"Gotcha!" Kagome burst into the room. Her smile of triumph quickly faded. "Kohana! What did you do?"

"Kohana pretty!" The three-year-old beamed up at her mother. In one chubby fist, she clutched a tube of lipstick. Most of the contents were smeared liberally over her face.

Kagome struggled with herself, torn between laughter and anger. Laughter won, but just barely.

"You're a mess, baby." Kagome carefully lowered herself to the ground beside Kohana. Grabbing a fistful of tissues off the nightstand, she attempted to clean the child's face. "Hold still."

"No!" Kohana twisted her head away. "Kohana pretty! Just like Mommy!"

"Kagome! Where did you put my--" Inuyasha walked into the room, brow furrowed with the beginnings of irritation. Taking one look at his daughter, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Daddy!" Kohana shrieked. "Tell Mommy no! Kohana pretty!"

Kagome gritted her teeth. "Hold still! Don't just stand there, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha took a deep breath. "Shiro!" he yelled in the direction of the stairs. "Come here and clean up your sister!"

"Do I have to, Dad?" Nine-year-old Shiro's voice called back plaintively. "I'm looking for my lucky red soccer socks! Shippou and his dad will be here any minute!"

"Now, Shiro!"

Grumbling only slightly, Shiro obeyed. Soon, Kohana's loud protests could be heard along with Shiro's commands to stop squirming.

"What happened this time, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked.

"I turned my back for just a second," Kagome explained as he helped her off the floor. "And she disappeared. I found her in here with the lipstick." Abruptly she started laughing. "And then she-- And then I-- But you know the funniest thing--"

Kagome took a deep breath. As quickly as the laughter had come, she started crying. Wailing, she threw herself into her husband's arms. "Waaah! I'm a terrible mother! I can't even keep track of one little girl!"

_Oh, great. Mood swings._ Gingerly, Inuyasha patted her on the back. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Kohana just never listens." Kagome sobbed harder.

Inuyasha panicked. _What do I do now? How do I make her stop?_

A light bulb went off somewhere in his brain. "Why don't I take Kohana with me today? We'll make it a father-daughter bonding trip." He pushed Kagome a little bit away so he could look into her face. "We'll find something for your birthday next week."

Kagome sniffed a few times. "Really?" she asked in a small voice.

Inuyasha nodded. "Yep. I'll take Kohana. Shiro's going to spend all afternoon at the soccer tryouts. You can relax, take a bath, do whatever you want."

Kagome flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. "You are so sweet! I'll go pack a bag for Kohana." She waddled out of the room as fast as her advanced pregnancy would allow.

_Another crisis averted._ Inuyasha grinned smugly. _I am getting so good at this!_

In a relatively short amount of time, Kohana and her surprisingly large day bag were ready to go. Inuyasha couldn't understand why one small child needed enough stuff to outfit an entire daycare center -- just for a few of hours.

Why, he used to take Shiro out all day with just his stuffed dog and a couple of extra diapers. Of course, several times he had found himself improvising with twist ties and a tee shirt.

Kohana was three already. Hadn't Kagome mentioned once that she was almost potty-trained? Real men couldn't be seen toting diaper bags around. Inuyasha wisely said nothing. Kagome was happy, looking forward to a child-free afternoon. There was no way he was going to start an argument over something this silly.

"Kohana ready!" Kohana appeared from her bedroom, free of lipstick and dragging her stuffed cat toy by one of its tails. The two-tailed cat had been a present from Sango. Kohana had christened it "Kitty." Kagome, just as entranced as her daughter, decided to call it "Kirara." Shiro and Inuyasha wisely agreed with both of them.

"Give Mommy a kiss," Inuyasha instructed. Kohana complied with a hug and a sloppy kiss. "Let's go!"

* * *

Inuyasha held tightly to Kohana's hand. The last thing he wanted to do was lose her in a crowd of people. When she first started walking, he had wanted to buy her one of those toddler harnesses like they sold in baby stores. Kagome had a fit and Inuyasha vowed to never bring up the subject again.

Right now, though, he would have given anything to own one.

Kohana chattered happily, a mixture of real words and nonsense syllables. They stopped to look at a display of knives in a store window.

"Ooooh! What an adorable little girl." A large woman stopped to coo at Kohana. The overpowering scent of too-much perfume accompanied her movements. "Aren't you just precious? Are you going walkies with your daddy? Oh, yes you are!"

Kohana wrinkled her nose. "Yuck! Too much stink! Lady needs diaper change!"

The lady turned red as several passersby snickered. "How rude! Hasn't your daddy taught you any manners?"

Inuyasha smirked. "At least my daughter isn't sticking her nose where it isn't wanted."

If possible, the lady turned even redder and stalked away in a huff.

"If it isn't Inuyasha and Kohana," a cheerful voice called out. "I should have guessed from the amount of laughter and the large, humiliated woman."

"Uncle Miroku!" Kohana released Inuyasha's hand to run to the tall dark-haired man who was coming toward them.

"Hello there, precious!" Miroku scooped the child up in her arms, giving her a tickle and a kiss.

"What are you doing here?" Inuyasha asked.

"Giving Sango a break." He bounced Kohana in his arms. "With Kohaku and Hiroshi underfoot as well as the new baby on the way, I thought I'd take a walk."

"Mood swings?"

"You have no idea."

Kohana tugged on Miroku's hair. "We gonna buy Mommy a birfday present. Wanna come, Uncle Miroku?"

Miroku looked at Inuyasha. Inuyasha shrugged. "Sure. The more the merrier."

"Let's go." Miroku strode off in a random direction. "What are we going to get your mommy?" he asked the toddler in his arms.

"Chocolate!"

"We'll find something nice, Kohana," Inuyasha told her.

They wandered through the shopping center, poking into shops or just looking in the windows. Inuyasha thought Kagome could use a sharpener for the kitchen knives. It looked like it might even work for the Tetsusaiga. Miroku was more in favor of picking up a little something in Victoria's Secret. Kohana wanted to get Mommy a giant cookie or a cake in the shape of Barney.

"I wonder what's going on over there," Miroku said sometime later, while they were all enjoying a frozen yogurt.

"Over where?" Inuyasha asked. Kohana had yogurt smeared on her nose, her chin, and both cheeks. He was trying to clean off the worst with a handful of napkins.

"Over there." Miroku pointed with his spoon. "At that jewelry store."

Inuyasha squinted in the direction of the store. "Looks interesting. Let's find out."

They dumped their empty yogurt cups in the nearest garbage receptacle and wandered over to the crowd gathered around the jewelry store.

Inuyasha tapped a well-dressed gentleman on the shoulder. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Didn't you hear?" the gentleman replied. "SJ Jewelers is displaying a rare jewel. It's going to be on display for a week and then it's being shipped to a high-security museum."

"Sounds special," Inuyasha commented. He turned to Miroku. "Wanna see?"

"Sure. You know, they might be having a sale. Maybe you can get Kagome a pair of earrings."

"That's a good idea. She's always bugging me to buy her jewelry." He checked to make sure Kohana was still nearby and grabbed her hand. "Come on, Kohana. We're going to look at some sparklies."

The three of them pushed their way through the crowd, stepping on several toes and earning rude comments and/or gestures. Inuyasha and Miroku largely ignored the people around them. Finally they got close enough to see what all the fuss was about.

A large marble-like object sat on a velvet pillow with guards stationed around it. Obviously, it had been brought out for the crowd to admire. An open glass case stood a few feet behind it. The jewelry storeowner was fairly bursting with his own importance.

"This rare jewel is a one-of-a-kind," he was telling a group of reporters and spectators. "It is called the Shikon no Tama and is absolutely priceless. Kings and pharaohs would give their entire fortunes to own it. Entire civilizations have been destroyed in pursuit of it."

"Nice marble," Inuyasha commented. "But I don't see what all the fuss is about. Let's find something for Kagome and get out of here."

"Pretty." Kohana tugged her hand out of her daddy's grip and toddled over to the display case. She wiggled past the oblivious guard and reached up to touch.

"Kohana!" Inuyasha grabbed for his daughter. "Don't touch!"

One of the guards snatched the girl off the floor, earning a shriek from the startled child. The pudgy storeowner came barreling over.

"Get that child out of here!"

Inuyasha yanked Kohana out of the guard's grip. Kohana howled. "Don't yell at my daughter!" he shouted.

The man went red in the face. "Nobody is to get within three feet of the Shikon no Tama! And that includes your ill-mannered brat!"

"What did you say?" Inuyasha shoved Kohana at Miroku. "Why don't we step outside and you can say it again?"

Alarmed at the thought of a fight around all these breakables, Miroku set Kohana on the floor and tried to calm Inuyasha down.

"He didn't mean it," Miroku insisted. "Let's just all admit it was a big misunderstanding, and we'll be on our way."

"Stay out of this, Miroku," Inuyasha snapped. "He insulted my daughter!"

Kohana stopped crying now that the attention was no longer on her. Daddy was arguing with the loud man who yelled at her. Uncle Miroku was trying to push them apart. Through the crush of people, she got sight of the jewel that started the whole thing. It sparkled so very temptingly. Mommy liked pretty sparkles. Unnoticed, she made her way back to the Shikon no Tama.

"Shut up, you pompous windbag! I've seen better looking glass at a carnival!"

"Try to control yourself, Inuyasha! Let go of him!"

The jewelry storeowner stumbled back, red in the face and rubbing his neck.

"Get out of here!" he screamed. "Take your friend and your child and leave! And if you ever enter this store again, I will personally see to it that you go to jail!"

"Fine!" Inuyasha snarled. "I don't need any of your overpriced trinkets anyway! My wife has much better taste in jewelry!"

Inuyasha snatched up Kohana, who was just beginning to enjoy the argument. People made the funniest faces when they were yelling. She wondered what a pompous windbag was. Maybe Mommy would explain it.

Miroku rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. Never a dull moment. He trotted after his friend. "Wait up, Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha had worked off most of his anger by the time they reached the parking lot, but he was in no mood to continue shopping. Might as well go home. There were still a few more days before Kagome's birthday.

"Say goodbye to Uncle Miroku," Inuyasha instructed.

"Bye-bye, Uncle Miroku." Kohana held her arms up so she could be picked up to deliver the traditional hug and wet, sloppy kiss.

Miroku responded with a slight squeeze before placing the child back on the ground. "Be a good girl." Of course, Kohana's idea of being good and her mother's often differed wildly. Still, she was a sweet child.

"See you, Miroku," Inuyasha said. "If we're lucky, that scene won't make the six o'clock news. All I need right now is for Kagome to find out that we've been banned for life from yet another store."

Miroku chuckled and waved as he headed for his car. Sango was probably starting to wonder where he was.

* * *

"We're home!"

A dark-haired blur streaked out of the family room and crashed into him. Kohana giggled while Inuyasha tried to disentangle himself from his son.

"Guess what, Dad?" Shiro didn't stop long enough for his father to guess. "I scored three goals today! That's one more than Shippou did! The coach said he might make me center this year. I guess all that practicing you and I did finally paid off."

"That's great, Shiro!" Inuyasha beamed, as proud as if he had scored the goals. "Did you use that special move I taught you?"

Shiro nodded. "Uh huh. Coach said that if I promised never to use it again, he won't call you for a conference."

Inuyasha grimaced. Coach Jinenji was a hulking brute of a man. Conferences with him were something to avoid. Not because he was violent -- he abhorred violence. He used logic and common sense to get his point across, which made for very boring talks.

"Mommy!" Kohana toddled over to Kagome who was coming out of the kitchen. "We went shopping! And Uncle Miroku came! And we ate yogrit! And then--"

"That's enough, baby," Inuyasha quickly interrupted. "Why don't you go watch TV before dinner? What are we having, Kagome? It smells good!"

Kagome gave him a strange look. "It's just macaroni and cheese, Inuyasha. Cousin Taro said that Shiro and Shippou did well at the tryouts, and I told Shiro he could have whatever he wanted for dinner."

"Macaroni and cheese is my favorite," Shiro enthused. "And Mom's making cream-style corn, too. We're having a yellow meal!"

Kohana wandered into the living room. The television was already on. It was showing the news. She sat down to watch the pretty news lady. Rain and clouds appeared as she pointed to various spots on the big map. Kohana hadn't figured out how she did it yet.

"What are you watching, squirt?" Shiro asked, flopping down on the couch. He idly bounced a black and white soccer ball on his knee.

"News lady."

"The news is boring." Shiro made a face. "Why don't we watch some cartoons?"

"No! News!"

"No fighting before dinner," Inuyasha admonished, coming into the room. "Kohana got here first, so she can watch what she wants. Go put your ball away, Shiro, and wash your hands. It's almost time for dinner."

The weather forecast ended abruptly, to be replaced with the serious face of the news anchor.

"This just in. The Shikon no Tama has been stolen. This priceless jewel has been on display at SJ Jewelers en route to its final destination at the Miko Museum. It disappeared sometime after two o'clock. We have been unable to pinpoint the exact instance of its disappearance because of some sort of disturbance just prior. Because of the crowds present, the security cameras were unable to get a clear picture of the thief. We take you now to our live correspondent at the scene of the crime."

The pudgy face of the storeowner filled the screen. "This is preposterous. We have the highest security available. There is no way a thief could walk in and just take the jewel."

The camera switched to show the reporter. "Several eyewitnesses claim that there was some sort of disturbance about the time the Shikon no Tama went missing."

"Just a couple of idiots," the man scoffed. "The security guards were watching them closely the entire time."

"Idiots?" Inuyasha clenched his fists as he glared at the screen. "I'd like to see him call me that to my face. I'll show him who the idiot is!"

"Kohana's sparkly."

"Huh?" Inuyasha looked down to see Kohana playing with something. He crouched down to get a closer look. "What'cha got there, baby?"

"A pretty sparkly." Kohana grinned at him. "Give to Mommy for her birfday!" She opened her chubby hands to show her prize.

Kohana had the Shikon no Tama.

**

* * *

**

**Food for thought:** The shortest distance between two people is a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha

TO CATCH A THIEF

Chapter 2: Punishment

* * *

Inuyasha stared at the jewel in his daughter's hand. _Now what do I do? I have to return it. _He grimaced. _But that pompous windbag will probably accuse me of stealing it. I need to think of something._

"Dinnertime, Inuyasha," Kagome called from the kitchen. "Could you bring Kohana to the table?"

Inuyasha snapped out of his shocked state. "Be right there, Kagome," he answered.

"Dinner!" Kohana cried gleefully. She scrambled to her feet, clutching the jewel tightly in her chubby fist. "Give sparkly to Mommy!"

"Wait!" Inuyasha grabbed his startled child, yanking her off her feet. Her face twisted into the expression that usually came before crying.

He set her down on her feet and turned her to look at him. "You can't give it to Mommy right now, baby," he explained. "It's not Mommy's birthday yet and we want it to be a surprise."

Kohana looked doubtful. She glanced at the jewel in her hand and then up at her daddy's anxious face. "Okay, Daddy."

Inuyasha heaved a sigh of relief. The only tricky part was convincing Kohana that maybe he should be the one to hold it. He bribed her outrageously with her favorite treats before she reluctantly let him tuck it into his pocket for safekeeping.

He didn't think Kagome noticed anything when they joined the rest of the family at the dinner table. For once, he blessed Shiro's incessant chatter. Shiro monopolized the entire dinnertime conversation with a play-by-play report of the soccer tryouts.

"--and he didn't know what hit him!" Shiro exclaimed, pantomiming the soccer ball whizzing past the surprised goalie. "Just like you taught me, right Dad? Dad?"

"Huh?" Inuyasha looked up from the macaroni and cheese he was nervously demolishing. "Right!"

"Have you been listening to anything Shiro has been saying?" Kagome demanded in exasperation.

"Sure I have!" He smiled at Shiro. "Way to go, son! I bet you'll be the best player on the entire team."

"That's right!" Shiro boasted. "Shippou said that I was just lucky, but he's jealous 'cause Coach Jinenji is making me the starting center 'stead of him. He's going to play forward. Coach said that's 'cause Shippou's fast. You'd hardly believe Shippou's in the third grade. He's smaller than some of the first graders! But he is fast! Shippou said--"

Inuyasha tuned out again, ignoring Kagome's slightly worried look. His mind ran around in circles, trying to devise a plan. He would have to find some way of returning the jewel as soon as possible. The longer it was in his possession, the more chance that he would get caught with it.

"Kohana got a surprise!" Kohana sang out, banging her spoon on her highchair. Inuyasha had insisted that she was too old for a highchair. Kagome countered with saying that a highchair was the only way Kohana would stay in one place through the entire meal. She had a point.

Kagome smiled. "Did you get a surprise when you went shopping with Daddy?"

"Uh-huh." Kohana nodded her head vigorously and tipped her bowl onto the floor. Sachi, with the ease born of long practice, avoided the falling bowl and immediately started cleaning up the spilled food. "For your birfday, Mommy! Wanna see!"

Inuyasha snapped out of his preoccupied state. "No!" At Kagome's startled look, he hastened to amend, "It's not Mommy's birthday yet, baby. And besides we need to wrap it."

"You two are so sweet." Kagome stood up slowly and started stacking bowls together. "I can't wait to see it."

Inuyasha stood up, too. "Shiro, why don't you help your mother clear the table. I need to make a phone call. Come on, Kohana, you can help me."

Before Kohana could say another word, he went over to lift her out of the highchair, stepping on Sachi's tail in the process. Sachi yelped. Apologizing and clutching his daughter in his arms, Inuyasha backed out of the room. Kagome and Shiro stared after them as if he had gone crazy.

He didn't put Kohana down until he reached the relative sanctuary of his office. With two small children constantly underfoot, Inuyasha finally had to build a place that was off limits to the family. It was the only way he could ever get anything done on the rare occasions he brought work home.

Kohana's eyes widened. She wasn't allowed in the office. Her eyes landed on the shiny computer on the desk. The green light was on and it hummed contentedly. "Kohana wants to push the buttons!"

"Fine," Inuyasha replied distractedly. "Just be quiet while Daddy makes a quick phone call." He lifted the receiver and punched in a series of numbers. _Please let a certain pervert be the one to answer the phone._

Miroku answered on the third ring.

"Miroku, can you meet me at the shopping center in ten minutes? I'll explain when we get there. Yes, it's an emergency! I don't care if Sango's feeling playful, this is more important! And make sure you dress in dark clothing."

Inuyasha slammed the receiver down. Kohana looked up from the pile of paper on the floor. Pushing buttons was fun! And one of the buttons made paper come out of another machine. Each piece contained a few lines of gibberish. The rest was blank.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sighed. No time now. He'd clean it up when they got back. He squatted down to look Kohana in the eye. "I need to go back to the shopping center, baby. It's a surprise, so don't tell anybody."

"A surprise!" Kohana giggled. "Kohana likes surprises! Want to come!"

No telling what Kohana would blab to Kagome if he left her behind. Better to bring her along. He held out his arms. "Of course you can come. Let's go, baby."

* * *

Inuyasha freed Kohana from her car seat, his fingers fumbling with the straps. It had taken all the ingenuity his distracted brain could come up with to get out of the house. Vaguely, he had mentioned going to the store to pick up some ice cream. Kagome's eyes had lit up. 

Shiro had wanted to come. Inuyasha thanked every god he could think of for homework. Shiro had a ton and he hadn't done any yet. Kagome agreed that he should probably stay home this time.

Cautiously, he glanced around the empty parking lot. He had parked as far away from SJ Jewelers as possible. All police activity seemed to be centered around the jewelry store. Nobody took notice of them. _Stay calm. Stay cool._

"What are we doing here?"

"Aaaaah! Don't shoot!" He spun around, babbling excuses. "She's only a baby! She didn't mean it!"

"What are talking about, Inuyasha?" Miroku regarded his friend warily, his irritation fading to be replaced with concern. "What's so important that you had to drag me away from the loving arms of my wife? When Sango's in the mood… hoo boy!"

Inuyasha scanned the parking lot. Holding Kohana with one arm, he grabbed Miroku and hauled him to someplace less out-in-the-open. Once in the shadow of a building, he released his friend and took another quick look around.

"You're awfully jumpy tonight," Miroku commented.

Setting Kohana on the ground, Inuyasha reached in and pulled something from his pocket. "Recognize this?"

Miroku stared at the round marble in Inuyasha's hand. "That looks like the Shikon no Tama." His eyes widened as his brain processed what he had just said. "What are you doing with that? Did you know that every cop in the city is going to be looking for that? Whatever possessed you to steal it?"

"I did not steal it!" Inuyasha retorted, closing his fingers around the jewel.

"Possession is nine-tenths of the law, Inuyasha."

"I did not steal it! It was an accident!"

"Kohana got sparkly for Mommy's birfday."

Both men stopped arguing to look at the little girl. Kohana grinned and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"Kohana stole the Shikon no Tama?" Miroku exclaimed.

"It was an accident," Inuyasha repeated.

"I guess you're never too young to start your very own rap sheet."

Inuyasha got a panicked look on his face. "What am I going to do? How will I explain this to Kagome? Kohana's too young to be fingerprinted!"

"Calm down, Inuyasha," Miroku ordered. "We'll just have to return it without getting caught. I'm assuming that's why you invited me on your little criminal expedition?"

"Right." Inuyasha nodded his head sharply. "You need to keep an eye on Kohana and create a distraction. I'll put the Shikon no Tama back."

"Why do I have to create the distraction?" Miroku whined. "And why is Kohana here, anyway? You weren't thinking of using her as a shield, were you? 'Cause that's sick even for you."

Inuyasha gave him an irritated look. "Of course not. I couldn't leave her home. Have you known a three-year-old yet who could keep he mouth shut when she has a secret? I couldn't have her blabbing to Kagome."

"Good point."

"Now," Inuyasha settled into serious business mode, "I'm going to get as close to SJ Jewelers as I can without being spotted. Give me fifteen minutes. Then I want you to create a distraction."

"What kind of distraction?" Miroku interrupted.

"I don't care. Just make sure it is loud enough to distract most of the cops. When they're all busy elsewhere, I'll break into the store and return the Shikon no Tama."

"Sounds like a plan," Miroku commented cheerfully. "And I'll be sure to tell Kohana and Shiro what a wonderful father you were while you rot in jail."

"Are you going to help me or not?" Inuyasha demanded. "There's still time to chicken out and go home. Of course, I will then be forced to confess that you were my accomplice and the brains behind the whole operation."

Miroku held up his hands in surrender. "All right. No need to get personal. Just go get into position. Kohana and I will have a super distraction ready. Right, sweetie?"

Kohana beamed. "Kohana help Uncle Miroku! Fun!"

Inuyasha thought of several things he could say, but settled for, "Just be careful."

* * *

The next fifteen minutes were a nightmare. Inuyasha froze every time somebody coughed. Three cops were standing around looking bored. The pudgy storeowner alternated between hovering and arguing with another cop, who appeared to be the one in charge. 

Inuyasha counted the seconds and fidgeted. What was taking Miroku so long?

A muffled boom came from the direction of the parking lot. The apathetic cops straightened up and peered in that direction. A few crisp orders sent one of them trotting away. Another boom sounded from a different location. Another cop moved to investigate, leaving just one to guard the front door.

It was much easier to get close now. Inuyasha slipped from shadow to shadow until he reached the building. The pudgy storeowner was hopping from foot to foot and wringing his hands. Somebody was trying to calm him down, but not having much success.

He studied the building. There was no way he could just walk in the front door. Too many lights and too many people. Maybe there was another way in.

"What are we going to do?"

"Gaah!" Inuyasha jumped and pressed a hand to his heart. "What are you trying to do, Miroku? Give me a heart attack?"

Kohana giggled. "Uncle Miroku and Kohana make big booms!"

Miroku grinned evilly. "It's amazing the kinds of things you can make with common store-bought ingredients."

Inuyasha regarded him suspiciously. "What did you--? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"All right. So, what's the game plan?"

"Let me think," Inuyasha muttered distractedly. "Not that way. We could always--No, too many people. How about--? Stupid. Maybe if I could fly. Tunnel under the building, perhaps? Yeah, right! All I'd need would be several sticks of dynamite and a shovel." He looked up and his eyes widened. "That's perfect! Hey, Miroku, give me a boost, will you?"

"What are you thinking about?" Miroku followed Inuyasha's gaze, but couldn't see what might have interested him. "Is there a convenient window somewhere?"

"Even better." Inuyasha grinned and pointed. "A ventilation shaft."

Getting to the shaft proved more difficult than it looked. Miroku got down on his hands and knees to provide a standing platform for Inuyasha. No matter how much Inuyasha stretched, his hands didn't come anywhere near his goal.

With a bit of huffing and puffing, and some remarkable acrobatics from two slightly out of shape men, Inuyasha was able to stand on Miroku's shoulders. He could almost touch the edges of the shaft.

"Come on, Miroku," Inuyasha demanded, "we can't give up now."

"Easy for you to say," Miroku wheezed. "You're not the one with permanent shoe marks on your shoulders. Maybe you should just throw the marble at the cops and run. They'd have what they want and we could go home."

Kohana giggled. "Daddy and Uncle Miroku are funny." A small cat slinking through the shadows caught her attention and she lost interest in what the adults were doing. "Kitty!" She toddled towards the small animal.

"Ah ha!" Inuyasha's gaze fell on a sturdy trash can nearby. "Help me with this, Miroku. The sooner we return the Shikon no Tama, the sooner you can go back to playing demon slayer and the naughty demon with Sango."

Miroku sighed, but helped his friend wrestle the trash can into position.

"Hold still, Miroku," Inuyasha ordered. He balanced on top of Miroku who was balanced precariously on top of the trash can.

"What about security?" Miroku hissed.

"Who would be dumb enough to put a security camera in a ventilation shaft?" Inuyasha scoffed.

"Only someone stupid enough to break into an expensive jewelry store by crawling through a ventilation shaft," Miroku muttered under his breath.

Inuyasha ignored him, being too busy using his penknife to pry open the ventilation cover. Luck must favor idiots, because no alarms were sounding.

Inuyasha braced his arms on the lip of the opening and hoisted himself inside. One flailing foot caught Miroku in the face. He and the trash can fell to the ground with a loud clatter.

The cat streaked past Kohana with a startled yowl.

"What was that?" an anxious voice demanded.

"Just a cat," someone else responded.

"Shouldn't we go check it out?" the first cop asked.

"We were ordered to stay here. The chief is touchy enough, having to deal with that idiot who lost the jewel as it is. You can investigate if you want, but I value my job a lot more than that."

Inuyasha let out the breath he had been holding when he realized that nobody was going to investigate the crash. He patted his pocket to make sure the Shikon no Tama was still secure and started crawling through the shaft.

"Ouch!" He swore as he banged his head on the top of the shaft for the third time. Then he cursed silently as the close confines magnified his voice. When would this nightmare end? Kagome must be getting worried by now.

His ruminations were cut short when he reached the other end of the ventilation shaft and found himself looking down on the empty display case. There weren't too many people inside. Inuyasha wasn't surprised to recognize the pudgy storeowner, who was arguing with someone. Two others were meticulously examining every surface in the store.

"What do you mean, 'you haven't found anything'?" the man screamed.

"Calm down, sir," the man responded. He radiated authority and Inuyasha figured this must be the man in charge of the investigation. "We have not collected enough data to forward a theory yet. Is there anything that you might have neglected to tell us?"

The storeowner fairly swelled with rage. "You think that I would withhold evidence! I will suffer the most if that jewel is not recovered quickly. I can only stall the owners of the Miko Museum for so long! I'll be ruined!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Idiot." It was a wonder nothing of value had been stolen before this. He went back to scanning the store floor. He might be able to sneak past the moron, but not a highly trained police detective. There was no way to get close enough.

With a slight amount of contorting, he managed to extract the jewel from his pocket. Maybe Miroku's idea wasn't as bad as he thought at first. If he could throw it at them and get the heck out of there, his problems would be over.

Grinning, Inuyasha tried to slip the jewel through the slats. Very quickly, the grin faded. The darn thing wouldn't fit! Now what?

He watched the two men finish examining the area and go to speak with their chief. Their voices were too low for him to make out more than a word or two. With a brief nod, they left the room. Now only two people were left.

Inuyasha fidgeted. He couldn't go home, not after coming this far! The police chief stared with unnerving intensity at the ventilation shaft.

"Where does that go?" he asked abruptly, pointing at Inuyasha's hiding place.

"It's just a ventilation shaft," the pudgy storeowner replied brusquely. "The only place it goes is to the outside."

"A man might be able to fit up there." The chief frowned and then started walking purposefully towards it. "I should check to see if it has been tampered with."

"Didn't you already check that?" The storeowner asked, irritation plain in his voice.

"This is my investigation and I'm checking it again."

Inuyasha froze. His heart started pounding and he broke out in a cold sweat. He started to wiggle backwards. His foot clanged gently off the side of the shaft. Immediately he stopped moving, praying that nobody heard that.

The chief had lowered his eyes in order to walk around a display case. But the next time he looked up…

Inuyasha was a sitting duck.

From outside could be heard a familiar wail. A harried-looking police officer hurried through the door.

"Sir!"

The chief turned away from the ventilation shaft and the hidden Inuyasha. "What's going on out there?"

"There's a little girl, sir. She appears to be all alone. We haven't been able to find out where her parents are. She screams if anybody gets too close."

A little girl? Inuyasha's heart started pounding again, but for another reason. That had to be Kohana! What did Miroku think he was doing? He was supposed to be keeping an eye on her.

"Talk to her! Calm her down!"

"How, sir? She just keeps screaming."

The police chief muttered something and strode towards the doors. The storeowner wailed and wrung his hands, scurrying after them and demanding that they return to finish the job they had been hired to do.

Inuyasha scowled at the grate over the ventilation shaft. So close and yet so far. He'd better go rescue Kohana and beat his best friend to a pulp. Frustrated, he balled up his fist and struck the grate. With a clatter, it popped loose and crashed to the floor.

What do you know? Inuyasha stared for a long time. Then a smile stretched his lips.

Squirming forward just enough to get one arm free, he took careful aim. The Shikon no Tama bounced off the edge of the display case and rolled under a chair.

Kohana's wails were growing a little ragged, but still she screamed. Where was Miroku? Wasn't he supposed to be keeping an eye on her? Inuyasha frowned and began to back out the way he came in.

Suddenly he froze. What if something had happened? Kohana could be hurt or scared! Surely Miroku should have found her by now.

Inuyasha banged his head hard on the roof of the shaft. Swearing, he forced himself to slow down. The last thing he needed to do was get stuck.

Had the ventilation shaft gotten longer? He didn't remember it taking this long to crawl through it. Kohana wasn't crying anymore. Panicked, he speeded up.

His feet slipped and he found himself clinging to the opening of the shaft. Out already? What a relief? He scrambled for a toehold, but his tired arms refused to support him anymore.

Luckily, the overturned trash can was still there to break his fall.

"Owww," Inuyasha mumbled, climbing to his feet. "Don't worry, baby, Daddy's coming." He staggered towards the sound of Kohana's hiccupping sobs.

"Thank you so much for finding my daughter."

Wait a minute. That sounded like Miroku. Miroku doesn't have a daughter.

"No problem," the police chief replied. "You're lucky that nothing happened to her. This area is off-limits, so you two had better get home."

"Thank you again. Say goodbye to the nice man, Kohana."

Inuyasha could see them now. Miroku was holding Kohana and backing away from the small knot of police officers.

"Bye-bye!" Kohana waved vigorously, clutching a bright red lollipop in her hand. "Kohana loves Daddy! Daddy takes could care of Kohana!"

Miroku had reached the shadows where Inuyasha waited, though he had yet to notice his friend. He bounced the toddler gently in his arms.

"Don't overdo it, sweetie," he cautioned.

Kohana grinned at him. "Kohana good actor! Right, Uncle Miroku?" She peered over Miroku's shoulder and squealed. "Hi, Daddy! Kohana was surprise! The people in funny clothes surprised to see Kohana!"

Miroku swallowed visibly and turned around. "Um, hi, Inuyasha. Did you return the Shikon no Tama?"

Inuyasha scowled. "Yes, I did. Why are you using my daughter as a distraction? I thought she was hurt!"

"Um--"

"Never mind. Let's just get out of here before something goes wrong."

Inuyasha and Miroku jogged quickly back to the parking lot. Inuyasha filled Miroku in on his little adventure. The Shikon no Tama would be found before long and the whole mess could be forgotten.

"Are you afraid that the police will still come after you?" Miroku asked. "I mean, your fingerprints are all over that jewel."

Inuyasha winced. "Too late to worry about that now. I'll just have to hope that they will be so relieved to find it, that they won't think to dust it for prints."

Miroku glanced at his watch. "Wow, it's late! I should get home. Sango is going to wonder what happened to me. See you later, Inuyasha! Bye-bye, Kohana!"

"Bye-bye, Uncle Miroku!"

Inuyasha settled Kohana into her car seat, before climbing behind the wheel. He looked back at his daughter, happily sucking on her treat.

"Listen to me, baby," he began, "let's not tell your mommy what we did tonight. It can be our secret."

Kohana looked thoughtful. "Is a secret like a surprise?"

"Sort of. But you can't tell anybody. Okay?"

Kohana grinned, sticky red syrup outlining her mouth. "Okay, Daddy! It's a secret!"

Inuyasha sighed and pulled out of the parking lot. At this time of night, there were few cars on the road and they were home in no time.

"We're home!" he sang out as soon as he walked in the door carrying a drowsing Kohana. His smile faded as he saw Kagome standing in the hallway, wearing pajamas and a robe. She didn't look happy.

"Where were you two? I've been worried sick! It's not that far to the store!" She looked more closely at him and her expression turned suspicious. "What happened to your clothes? They're filthy!"

"We had a bit of a mishap," Inuyasha hastened to explain. "You see--we ran into Miroku, and, well--time sort of got away from us. He, um, helped me return something. And... well... it was kind of in an awkward place."

Kagome's frown lightened a trifle. "So, that's where he went. Sango called looking for him." Her gaze landed on her sticky, sleepy daughter. "You shouldn't have kept Kohana out this late! She should have been in bed a long time ago!" She took the child from her husband.

Inuyasha sighed in relief and headed for the kitchen. He needed something to soothe his nerves. It had been a long day.

"Um, Inuyasha..."

Inuyasha froze. "Yes, dear?"

"Where's the ice cream?"

THE END

**

* * *

Food for thought:** Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. 


End file.
